Spar†anS
Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 10:54 pm
Greetings, Hellmarshians!.
I hope I find you all well.
I am Quadamage, chief historian and an accomplished leader for the great and powerful Spartan Army of the late King Kwoan in the town of TEMOZ, a thousand blessings upon his name.
For hundreds of years, the Spartans were the most feared fighting force in the whole world. With calm and ruthless precision, and years of training, we mastered the essential militaristic skills of blunt swords, deadly axes, and the bloody spear.
This generation lavishes unwarranted praise upon the insipid abilities of Chuck Norris and his puny "roundhouse kick." We Spartans once raped an oncoming force of 10,000 elite Quanatians with a single phalanx. We left our newborn children on windswept mountaintops to ensure they were strong enough to survive.
We revolutionized and perfected the idea of the fascist warrior state, and the best challenge you can mount to our legacy is Walker, Texas Ranger! . Chuck Norris couldn't strike a Spartan child without having his skeleton shatter into a boneless bag, fit for a lonely future as a hirsute loofah in one of our relaxing group baths.
But in all honesty, being the masters of war gets rather boring. People expect you to win, so you have to make things interesting. Wield a sword with your non-dominant hand. Thrust your lance forward in unconventional time signatures. Sometimes we even stabbed ourself's in the leg beforehand just to give my opponents a chance!
So we're preparing for war against the Quanatian Army, which was led by Some FAG, a man who called himself "the FAGKING" and once had an uncooperative river whipped 300 times just to prove he was hardcore. Such a display might have been intimidating were we salmon or tadpoles or perhaps a swan with unusually poor reflexes, but as men of unparalleled soldierly skill we felt no fear.
We are now assembling a new force of 13 men to repel any number of invading Quanatians!! So all you brutal warriors in Temoz pm me and i shall put you through the spartan test and if you prevail you will get to join the Spar†anS.
(P.S)Don't stare at the chick u dirty pervs!
ALSO BEWARE
THA CHOSEN ONES SO FAR!
1. Quadamage
2. Jattsta
3. Roverz
4. Horcrax
5. ZWarrior
6. Cybertooth
7. Ptk
8. Finlord
9. Royalshine
10.Dipak
11.LegendKiller
12.Spartens
13.Jungleman
I hope I find you all well.
I am Quadamage, chief historian and an accomplished leader for the great and powerful Spartan Army of the late King Kwoan in the town of TEMOZ, a thousand blessings upon his name.
For hundreds of years, the Spartans were the most feared fighting force in the whole world. With calm and ruthless precision, and years of training, we mastered the essential militaristic skills of blunt swords, deadly axes, and the bloody spear.
This generation lavishes unwarranted praise upon the insipid abilities of Chuck Norris and his puny "roundhouse kick." We Spartans once raped an oncoming force of 10,000 elite Quanatians with a single phalanx. We left our newborn children on windswept mountaintops to ensure they were strong enough to survive.
We revolutionized and perfected the idea of the fascist warrior state, and the best challenge you can mount to our legacy is Walker, Texas Ranger! . Chuck Norris couldn't strike a Spartan child without having his skeleton shatter into a boneless bag, fit for a lonely future as a hirsute loofah in one of our relaxing group baths.
But in all honesty, being the masters of war gets rather boring. People expect you to win, so you have to make things interesting. Wield a sword with your non-dominant hand. Thrust your lance forward in unconventional time signatures. Sometimes we even stabbed ourself's in the leg beforehand just to give my opponents a chance!
So we're preparing for war against the Quanatian Army, which was led by Some FAG, a man who called himself "the FAGKING" and once had an uncooperative river whipped 300 times just to prove he was hardcore. Such a display might have been intimidating were we salmon or tadpoles or perhaps a swan with unusually poor reflexes, but as men of unparalleled soldierly skill we felt no fear.
We are now assembling a new force of 13 men to repel any number of invading Quanatians!! So all you brutal warriors in Temoz pm me and i shall put you through the spartan test and if you prevail you will get to join the Spar†anS.
(P.S)Don't stare at the chick u dirty pervs!
ALSO BEWARE
THA CHOSEN ONES SO FAR!
1. Quadamage
2. Jattsta
3. Roverz
4. Horcrax
5. ZWarrior
6. Cybertooth
7. Ptk
8. Finlord
9. Royalshine
10.Dipak
11.LegendKiller
12.Spartens
13.Jungleman